weeks 1-3

Having a baby around is hard work! The thing I most was looking forward to with not being pregnant was sleeping on my stomach. And, wouldn't you know it, it hurts my full of milk nursing boobs. Great. So, that's out of the picture for a while.

Anyways, I really can't believe I'm a mommy. What a crazy idea. But, I love this little girl so much. I really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing though. I mean, sure, I know how to change a diaper and give a bath and thankfully we've worked out the nursing thing, but there's all the things that there's no precise answer to. Like, when should she sleep in her own room, in her crib? Some people put there babies in the crib right away, but there's the studies about SIDS and that babies shouldn't sleep alone. Or when do you let a baby self-soothe and go to sleep on their own? Some people say it's fine to do at 2 weeks, some say 6-8 weeks. Then, she will not sleep in her bassinet, so she eventually just ends up sleeping with me, which I was never going to do, but here I am doing it...talk about aggravating. I just don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't mind her sleeping with me, and it makes middle of the night nursing go a lot better, but at the same time should she really be there? I'm planning on going back to work in April, and need to pump so she'll have a supply, but how do I fit that in? People are saying they would pump one side while the baby nurses, but I am so not coordinated enough to do that. I feel like I need an extra arm to make that work...

I do love this mommy thing though. It's amazing the instant love I had for our little girl. Even despite her crankiness at 6 or 7 in the evening that can last 2 to 4 hours, I love her. And yes, Gripe Water is amazing and can really work wonders on her some of the time. I love the milk drunk smiles she does, her little snores while she sleeps, her squeaks and squawks, her beautiful face, her long pretty fingers, I love nursing her, and I love that without doing much she can make me laugh.

So, last week I was changing her and all the sudden she pooed, big time...with a lot of force...and it went across the room. Wow..talent this girl has. It was pretty disgusting, but pretty funny too.

As for me, I feel like I've accomplished the so much if I can just get a shower in (which I did today-yay!). I try to to have too many expectations of myself. Heck, I haven't cleaned anything since she's been born, although I was able to vacuum the other day, but that was thanks to Vinnie being home. I must say, I love his work schedule; he's home 3 or 4 days every week and that makes life nice. Although when he does work, he doesn't get home until 7:30 which can be a little tough because that can be her cranky time and I'm so tired by then. My bedtime has certainly changed from the 10 or 10:30 to 8:30 or 9 (at least that is what I would like it to be). I am more and more amazed by ladies who have 2 kids. How in the world do they make that work???

We had newborn photos done, and they were amazing. Although I really had tried to have her fed and asleep for the pictures. She certainly was fed, but she would not sleep until the very end. Poor girl...she was so tired by the end. I wonder how this will play into her personality as she grows.

I've gotten out of the house a couple times with her, but it takes forever to get out and then it's only a matter of time until she needs to eat again, so no long trips out. Not that I mind staying in with her. The weather has been pretty cold and the inversion has been pretty gross this year. So, we're happy inside for the time being. Plus, her nursery is so pretty. It's not quite done yet though, still want to find a few things for the walls.

I had a baby!

This is my beautiful baby girl, Abigail Jo, just moments after she was born. It's been 3 weeks now and I can't believe how time has flown. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that makes it seem like it's gone so quickly. This little girl is sleeping on my chest right now, so I'm trying to be quick with this blog, but there is so much to say. Firstly, I am so grateful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to raise this wonderful little girl. I'm in awe that I would be trusted with one of His children here on the earth. Wow, it's almost too crazy to think about.

I was scheduled to be induced, which looking back, I loved. I didn't have to go through the "labor at home" thing and the day before I went it I was able to really clean the house, do some last minute shopping, and even went out to eat one last time with Vinnie (we picked Texas Roadhouse). We went in at 7:30 in the morning and got checked in. Right away I got changed into a hospital gown, which feels rather awkward with the open back and no undies on. I had a pitocin IV started soon there after. Dr England came in at 9ish and broke my water. Um...that is a gross feeling...blah! Contractions were starting to pick up and around noon I got an epidural. Which, I was always planning on getting, but as he was doing it, I couldn't help but think of how this guy is putting a needle in my spine...hope he doesn't mess up or hope I don't wiggle around too much. It was probably irrational to fear getting paralyzed because this guy puts in epidurals all the time, but yeah, the fear was there. No worries, I can walk still. The epidural made things fabulous, no more pain. I'm surprised that there are people who do it without, but more power to you. Sometime later...in the early afternoon, got a sudden wave of nausea. I had someone warn me that throwing up is possible, but I guess I hadn't taken them seriously. I should have. I vomited...a lot...all over the front of me and all over the bed. Disgusting. At that point I had lost all hope of modestly. The poor nurse who came in and cleaned me up. I felt so miserable. But, on the upside, I did learn where the little blue vomit bags are kept. And I used them...often.

Suddenly, around 5 it was time to start pushing. And wouldn't you know it, I had to start coughing. Apparently that helped to move the little miss out, as did all the vomiting (in the blue bags still). The coughing and throwing up probably did more than the pushing did. But, finally it was over and the doctor was putting this gooey little baby on my chest. I have a picture of this moment, but I'm not putting it up. The look on my face is not at all pretty. It's more of a "ugh...she's slimey..."

I ended up with a small tear and an episiotomy, both got stitched up and were not fun to recover from. Fortunately, the majority of the pain of that was gone by a week and a half. It was nice having the epidural though because I couldn't feel a lot of that pain for a while. Oh, and totally got one of those blow up donut guys to sit on. Very nice. Before I went to the hospital, I spent a lot of time obsessing about what to pack. I only took one bag, a pillow, and my laptop, but I packed too much. Next baby I'm just taking: my pillow, shower stuff (enough just for one shower), nursing/sleeping bra, face cleansing cloth, maybe a little makeup, socks, tablet guy, and the camera...I'll just wear home what I wore to the hospital, oh, and take stuff for the baby obviously. But, I just ended up taking stuff I did not need, and I didn't like that.

39 weeks preggo

Yes, I'm pregnant, and if you don't know that, I'm surprised...it's pretty much my life right now. We're having a little girl, she is due the 13th of Jan...I cannot believe it's coming up so soon, although I would really like to have her now. I'm done with being pregnant. People have told me to enjoy the time right now because it's not like I'll be able to sleep when she comes, but really? Do you think I'm sleeping well now? Because I'm not. I've really been surprised about what people act like when they are around pregnant women. It's seriously shocking. It's like they think that they can forget all the barriers that should be there. Want some examples? Ok...at work there is a gal who loves being pregnant (ok...that's your choice...), but she constant will stare at my big round stomach when she talks to me. Um, awkward...really awkward. Like, almost as awkward as someone staring at your chest while they talk to you. Also at work a guy (also staring at my stomach) tells me how big and round I am. Oh, ok...you can comment on my stomach, but how about if I stare at your fatness and tell you that you're big and round, huh? Yeah, not acceptable...neither is commenting on my stomach. Why is it acceptable for pretty much every person I see to tell me that I've dropped (or haven't dropped), huh? Tell me that, will you? I have been lucky enough to not have anyone touch my baby belly-thank goodness, but I have heard of this happening a lot. I have a personal bubble and don't need to deal with someone doing that. And why do people do that? Do they expect that the baby all the sudden will kick at their hand? Um, that's not gonna do it. Touch your own belly, k?

Do you want to know the questions people ask, and in what order? 1. When are you due? 2. What are you having? 3. Do you have a name? And in there is also a splattering of: Are you getting an epidural? Are you ready? What's your nursery set up like? I don't mind talking about this little miss, but I am so sick of those questions. Good thing there is only a week left till the due date. I'm seriously contemplating not leaving the house until she comes out. So, I really thought that work would be harder while I was pregnant. Not harder physically, but emotionally. Seeing all those sick babies/kids is hard, but more than anything, around 20-30 weeks I would see those NICU premies and that worried me more than anything. Just that those little guys were the size of the one inside me. But, I've been lucky to have a very uncomplicated pregnancy. I have been lucky at work to be getting a lot of shifts in the NICU. It is the least physically demanding area to work. It's a little harder to squeeze in and out of the little spaces that I used to and sometimes my tummy will catch on edges of vents, cribs and other equipment in there.

So, that was me at 37.5 weeks, I was still feeling pretty good at that point (although sleep was still evading me). But, once I hit 38 weeks...oy! That started the least fun part of pregnancy. This little miss is really stretching and her little feet keep trying to jam out of my right side. I've started getting spasms in my hip flexors, painful to the point where I can't stand on that leg. In this past week the little girl has really dropped and I so totally feel ready for this birth thing to happen. Unfortunately when I last went to the Doc's, I was only dilated to a 1 and my cervix was still "pretty thick". I'm going in again on Tuesday, so hopefully there will be some better and more exciting news, because I am ready. I will say though, that even though I'm complaining a lot here, I am very very very excited to have this little miss and to be a new mommy. Her name you ask? We're not sure, but either thinking Ruby Mae or Anne Marie (I lean more towards Ruby, Vince leans more toward Anne). We'll see what she looks like I guess. The nursery? Well, it's all painted a bright tiffany blue with white furniture and pink accents/wall hangings. And yes...epidural...very much an epidural. I have no grand ambitions of even trying to do it natural. I figure that the science is there, why would you not choose to use it, right? My goal this year is to blog more...so hopefully I will be good =)