weeks 1-3

Having a baby around is hard work! The thing I most was looking forward to with not being pregnant was sleeping on my stomach. And, wouldn't you know it, it hurts my full of milk nursing boobs. Great. So, that's out of the picture for a while.

Anyways, I really can't believe I'm a mommy. What a crazy idea. But, I love this little girl so much. I really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing though. I mean, sure, I know how to change a diaper and give a bath and thankfully we've worked out the nursing thing, but there's all the things that there's no precise answer to. Like, when should she sleep in her own room, in her crib? Some people put there babies in the crib right away, but there's the studies about SIDS and that babies shouldn't sleep alone. Or when do you let a baby self-soothe and go to sleep on their own? Some people say it's fine to do at 2 weeks, some say 6-8 weeks. Then, she will not sleep in her bassinet, so she eventually just ends up sleeping with me, which I was never going to do, but here I am doing it...talk about aggravating. I just don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't mind her sleeping with me, and it makes middle of the night nursing go a lot better, but at the same time should she really be there? I'm planning on going back to work in April, and need to pump so she'll have a supply, but how do I fit that in? People are saying they would pump one side while the baby nurses, but I am so not coordinated enough to do that. I feel like I need an extra arm to make that work...

I do love this mommy thing though. It's amazing the instant love I had for our little girl. Even despite her crankiness at 6 or 7 in the evening that can last 2 to 4 hours, I love her. And yes, Gripe Water is amazing and can really work wonders on her some of the time. I love the milk drunk smiles she does, her little snores while she sleeps, her squeaks and squawks, her beautiful face, her long pretty fingers, I love nursing her, and I love that without doing much she can make me laugh.

So, last week I was changing her and all the sudden she pooed, big time...with a lot of force...and it went across the room. Wow..talent this girl has. It was pretty disgusting, but pretty funny too.

As for me, I feel like I've accomplished the so much if I can just get a shower in (which I did today-yay!). I try to to have too many expectations of myself. Heck, I haven't cleaned anything since she's been born, although I was able to vacuum the other day, but that was thanks to Vinnie being home. I must say, I love his work schedule; he's home 3 or 4 days every week and that makes life nice. Although when he does work, he doesn't get home until 7:30 which can be a little tough because that can be her cranky time and I'm so tired by then. My bedtime has certainly changed from the 10 or 10:30 to 8:30 or 9 (at least that is what I would like it to be). I am more and more amazed by ladies who have 2 kids. How in the world do they make that work???

We had newborn photos done, and they were amazing. Although I really had tried to have her fed and asleep for the pictures. She certainly was fed, but she would not sleep until the very end. Poor girl...she was so tired by the end. I wonder how this will play into her personality as she grows.

I've gotten out of the house a couple times with her, but it takes forever to get out and then it's only a matter of time until she needs to eat again, so no long trips out. Not that I mind staying in with her. The weather has been pretty cold and the inversion has been pretty gross this year. So, we're happy inside for the time being. Plus, her nursery is so pretty. It's not quite done yet though, still want to find a few things for the walls.