weeks 1-3

Having a baby around is hard work! The thing I most was looking forward to with not being pregnant was sleeping on my stomach. And, wouldn't you know it, it hurts my full of milk nursing boobs. Great. So, that's out of the picture for a while.

Anyways, I really can't believe I'm a mommy. What a crazy idea. But, I love this little girl so much. I really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing though. I mean, sure, I know how to change a diaper and give a bath and thankfully we've worked out the nursing thing, but there's all the things that there's no precise answer to. Like, when should she sleep in her own room, in her crib? Some people put there babies in the crib right away, but there's the studies about SIDS and that babies shouldn't sleep alone. Or when do you let a baby self-soothe and go to sleep on their own? Some people say it's fine to do at 2 weeks, some say 6-8 weeks. Then, she will not sleep in her bassinet, so she eventually just ends up sleeping with me, which I was never going to do, but here I am doing it...talk about aggravating. I just don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't mind her sleeping with me, and it makes middle of the night nursing go a lot better, but at the same time should she really be there? I'm planning on going back to work in April, and need to pump so she'll have a supply, but how do I fit that in? People are saying they would pump one side while the baby nurses, but I am so not coordinated enough to do that. I feel like I need an extra arm to make that work...

I do love this mommy thing though. It's amazing the instant love I had for our little girl. Even despite her crankiness at 6 or 7 in the evening that can last 2 to 4 hours, I love her. And yes, Gripe Water is amazing and can really work wonders on her some of the time. I love the milk drunk smiles she does, her little snores while she sleeps, her squeaks and squawks, her beautiful face, her long pretty fingers, I love nursing her, and I love that without doing much she can make me laugh.

So, last week I was changing her and all the sudden she pooed, big time...with a lot of force...and it went across the room. Wow..talent this girl has. It was pretty disgusting, but pretty funny too.

As for me, I feel like I've accomplished the so much if I can just get a shower in (which I did today-yay!). I try to to have too many expectations of myself. Heck, I haven't cleaned anything since she's been born, although I was able to vacuum the other day, but that was thanks to Vinnie being home. I must say, I love his work schedule; he's home 3 or 4 days every week and that makes life nice. Although when he does work, he doesn't get home until 7:30 which can be a little tough because that can be her cranky time and I'm so tired by then. My bedtime has certainly changed from the 10 or 10:30 to 8:30 or 9 (at least that is what I would like it to be). I am more and more amazed by ladies who have 2 kids. How in the world do they make that work???

We had newborn photos done, and they were amazing. Although I really had tried to have her fed and asleep for the pictures. She certainly was fed, but she would not sleep until the very end. Poor girl...she was so tired by the end. I wonder how this will play into her personality as she grows.

I've gotten out of the house a couple times with her, but it takes forever to get out and then it's only a matter of time until she needs to eat again, so no long trips out. Not that I mind staying in with her. The weather has been pretty cold and the inversion has been pretty gross this year. So, we're happy inside for the time being. Plus, her nursery is so pretty. It's not quite done yet though, still want to find a few things for the walls.

I had a baby!

This is my beautiful baby girl, Abigail Jo, just moments after she was born. It's been 3 weeks now and I can't believe how time has flown. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that makes it seem like it's gone so quickly. This little girl is sleeping on my chest right now, so I'm trying to be quick with this blog, but there is so much to say. Firstly, I am so grateful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to raise this wonderful little girl. I'm in awe that I would be trusted with one of His children here on the earth. Wow, it's almost too crazy to think about.

I was scheduled to be induced, which looking back, I loved. I didn't have to go through the "labor at home" thing and the day before I went it I was able to really clean the house, do some last minute shopping, and even went out to eat one last time with Vinnie (we picked Texas Roadhouse). We went in at 7:30 in the morning and got checked in. Right away I got changed into a hospital gown, which feels rather awkward with the open back and no undies on. I had a pitocin IV started soon there after. Dr England came in at 9ish and broke my water. Um...that is a gross feeling...blah! Contractions were starting to pick up and around noon I got an epidural. Which, I was always planning on getting, but as he was doing it, I couldn't help but think of how this guy is putting a needle in my spine...hope he doesn't mess up or hope I don't wiggle around too much. It was probably irrational to fear getting paralyzed because this guy puts in epidurals all the time, but yeah, the fear was there. No worries, I can walk still. The epidural made things fabulous, no more pain. I'm surprised that there are people who do it without, but more power to you. Sometime later...in the early afternoon, got a sudden wave of nausea. I had someone warn me that throwing up is possible, but I guess I hadn't taken them seriously. I should have. I vomited...a lot...all over the front of me and all over the bed. Disgusting. At that point I had lost all hope of modestly. The poor nurse who came in and cleaned me up. I felt so miserable. But, on the upside, I did learn where the little blue vomit bags are kept. And I used them...often.

Suddenly, around 5 it was time to start pushing. And wouldn't you know it, I had to start coughing. Apparently that helped to move the little miss out, as did all the vomiting (in the blue bags still). The coughing and throwing up probably did more than the pushing did. But, finally it was over and the doctor was putting this gooey little baby on my chest. I have a picture of this moment, but I'm not putting it up. The look on my face is not at all pretty. It's more of a "ugh...she's slimey..."

I ended up with a small tear and an episiotomy, both got stitched up and were not fun to recover from. Fortunately, the majority of the pain of that was gone by a week and a half. It was nice having the epidural though because I couldn't feel a lot of that pain for a while. Oh, and totally got one of those blow up donut guys to sit on. Very nice. Before I went to the hospital, I spent a lot of time obsessing about what to pack. I only took one bag, a pillow, and my laptop, but I packed too much. Next baby I'm just taking: my pillow, shower stuff (enough just for one shower), nursing/sleeping bra, face cleansing cloth, maybe a little makeup, socks, tablet guy, and the camera...I'll just wear home what I wore to the hospital, oh, and take stuff for the baby obviously. But, I just ended up taking stuff I did not need, and I didn't like that.

39 weeks preggo

Yes, I'm pregnant, and if you don't know that, I'm surprised...it's pretty much my life right now. We're having a little girl, she is due the 13th of Jan...I cannot believe it's coming up so soon, although I would really like to have her now. I'm done with being pregnant. People have told me to enjoy the time right now because it's not like I'll be able to sleep when she comes, but really? Do you think I'm sleeping well now? Because I'm not. I've really been surprised about what people act like when they are around pregnant women. It's seriously shocking. It's like they think that they can forget all the barriers that should be there. Want some examples? Ok...at work there is a gal who loves being pregnant (ok...that's your choice...), but she constant will stare at my big round stomach when she talks to me. Um, awkward...really awkward. Like, almost as awkward as someone staring at your chest while they talk to you. Also at work a guy (also staring at my stomach) tells me how big and round I am. Oh, ok...you can comment on my stomach, but how about if I stare at your fatness and tell you that you're big and round, huh? Yeah, not acceptable...neither is commenting on my stomach. Why is it acceptable for pretty much every person I see to tell me that I've dropped (or haven't dropped), huh? Tell me that, will you? I have been lucky enough to not have anyone touch my baby belly-thank goodness, but I have heard of this happening a lot. I have a personal bubble and don't need to deal with someone doing that. And why do people do that? Do they expect that the baby all the sudden will kick at their hand? Um, that's not gonna do it. Touch your own belly, k?

Do you want to know the questions people ask, and in what order? 1. When are you due? 2. What are you having? 3. Do you have a name? And in there is also a splattering of: Are you getting an epidural? Are you ready? What's your nursery set up like? I don't mind talking about this little miss, but I am so sick of those questions. Good thing there is only a week left till the due date. I'm seriously contemplating not leaving the house until she comes out. So, I really thought that work would be harder while I was pregnant. Not harder physically, but emotionally. Seeing all those sick babies/kids is hard, but more than anything, around 20-30 weeks I would see those NICU premies and that worried me more than anything. Just that those little guys were the size of the one inside me. But, I've been lucky to have a very uncomplicated pregnancy. I have been lucky at work to be getting a lot of shifts in the NICU. It is the least physically demanding area to work. It's a little harder to squeeze in and out of the little spaces that I used to and sometimes my tummy will catch on edges of vents, cribs and other equipment in there.

So, that was me at 37.5 weeks, I was still feeling pretty good at that point (although sleep was still evading me). But, once I hit 38 weeks...oy! That started the least fun part of pregnancy. This little miss is really stretching and her little feet keep trying to jam out of my right side. I've started getting spasms in my hip flexors, painful to the point where I can't stand on that leg. In this past week the little girl has really dropped and I so totally feel ready for this birth thing to happen. Unfortunately when I last went to the Doc's, I was only dilated to a 1 and my cervix was still "pretty thick". I'm going in again on Tuesday, so hopefully there will be some better and more exciting news, because I am ready. I will say though, that even though I'm complaining a lot here, I am very very very excited to have this little miss and to be a new mommy. Her name you ask? We're not sure, but either thinking Ruby Mae or Anne Marie (I lean more towards Ruby, Vince leans more toward Anne). We'll see what she looks like I guess. The nursery? Well, it's all painted a bright tiffany blue with white furniture and pink accents/wall hangings. And yes...epidural...very much an epidural. I have no grand ambitions of even trying to do it natural. I figure that the science is there, why would you not choose to use it, right? My goal this year is to blog more...so hopefully I will be good =)

Hair color...uncolor

So...I was in Virginia in Aug/Sept with Vince as he finished his BOLC training (not so sure what it stand for, but he is done with training now, so that is good news.

Anyways, while there I got the idea that I should color my hair...so I went red...dark auburn red. But, I was being smart, so I go the wash out...just in case.

Well, I did it, and dried my hair...and I had spots of blonde still. Whoops! So, went back to the store and they were out of the color I got, so had to pick a similar color. Anyways...this is what I got:



So, I started thinking that I would take pictures daily to see the color progression...I got a little lazy after awhile...





This is Vince's graduation...we left right after to drive home..in 3 days, ugh...














Well...by this point I was getting sick of red hair and wanted blonde back, so I was washing my hair like crazy doing crazy things to get out the color quicker. I was looking around the store and found a product called "color oops". The reviews were mostly good, the only thing I was concerned about was my hair not being back at "my" blonde... Anyways, this is how it turned out:




It's a lot darker than my blonde, but I'm liking it; it has some deepness for fall...something like that. It is also getting lighter as time is going by, so I'll be back to platinum sooner or later. Oh, and the side-swept bangs...are full bangs now. Good stuff =)

Well, I have officially been called out on my lack of writing (thanks Sherry). Since I am husband-less for 3 weeks and am not working today, I thought I could take some time to do a life update...

So, husband-less, you may ask... My dear love left yesterday for Portland...a 3 week paid trip by work so he can learn some fabulous new things. Sounds fun, right? Ya...for him! He's getting a mini vacation! Although, I must admit, that later today I'm going in for a massage, tomorrow a pedicure, and then in a couple weeks I'm taking a little Boise trip, so I'm mostly good with it...

Ah, but I haven't really written about my wedding, have I? Oct 9, 2010...a little fabulous ceremony and then we're married. It really was so great to finally be married...I think that was the thought that set off some tears...that it really was finally happening. Such a good feeling.





So, we get married and all....next thing we do, buy a little kitty. We finally named her Peeps...we had the hardest time picking out a name, Vinnie came up with the name when he said he was worried about her "peep and pooping" on the carpet...which she doesn't do. She does however sneeze....all the time... She literally blows snot out of her nose at times. One morning Vinnie and I were getting up and he found dried snot on his neck. Gross! But, I had a good laugh...




I got a job at Primary Children's, which I totally love. I don't know if I could go back to working with adults...they're "gross"...if kids spit-up/poop/ect, it's easier not to gag, you know? It's a little tough to disassociate yourself, but I do pretty well with my emotions until I hear or see family around the kiddo...that makes it a little more real.

Birthday!

It was my birthday yesterday, and since that's the most exciting thing that has happened in a while, I figured I'd write. Goodness. Has it really been since my engagement that I last wrote? Wow!

I'm really 27 now! That seems way too close to 30, which I never thought would come. It's been good though. Every year I like to think back at what I've done and learned over the year, and this past year has been wonderful.

Well, I am in school again...and I am so glad that this semester is almost over. They told us that this is the semester when they loose the most students from the program. I'm hoping that our class won't be loosing anyone. I really enjoy the people that I'm with every day. So, needless to say, I am happy with some of the C's I am getting. As long as I pass, I will feel blessed. I think I just have one more big test in each of my classes and then finals. So, I'm doing pretty well so far.

Vinnie was just able to come up for my birthday. I love seeing him. I wish I could every day. Although, it is kind of nice not having him as a distraction while I'm trying to study. We're able to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks. I'll be going down the Friday before Thanksgiving for a few days and then again the beginning of December for a formal dinner for his reserve unit.

Speaking of his reserve unit/army stuff, Vinnie got his new go-date for basic. He'll be shipping out of Jan 12, so he should be done the end of March. Then he'll be gone again in July for OCS, and then I'll have a little officer guy to marry. It'll be good though, I can go live in the place he bought while he's off at OCS. We're thinking our wedding will be either Sept 25 or Oct 9, but we'll see. Still not sure. I've decided to put off wedding planning till after I graduate so I can concentrate on school (I tried to do both and was getting pretty stressed out).

(this is a picture from today. I don't know why, but Vinnie thinks it's so funny to squish my lips together)

So, next up is finishing the semester and then having a wonderful month long break before I get into my last semester. I'm so excited to be so close. I can't wait to have a real job making grown-up money! I really wish that I had started this program much earlier. I feel like I could write a book on how to not plan your education. I'm glad I finally figured it out though!

Engaged!

So, Vinnie and I went to the OR coast for my family reunion (my parents/siblings). Obviously things went well....we got engaged on Saturday! We went down to Beverly Beach with the entire family. This first picture is out looking at tide pools. In the background you can see seals. It was a chilly day with a lot of wind, but the coast is great no matter what!

So, anyways....story...after looking at the tide pools, we walked over to the other side of the beach that was all sandy. The kids were all digging in the sand and playing in the very cold ocean and a shallow pool area. Lindsey (a niece) wanted to be buried in the sand, so we told her to start digging a hole to lay in and we'd cover her up. Vinnie wanted to go on a walk while we were waiting for Lindsey. So we started to walk along and found a bunch of drift wood....drift logs...and sat down. We were chatting for a bit and Vinnie came in front of me, on a knee, and told me how much he loves me and how important I am to him and asked me to marry him. Naturally I said yes....I'm already mid-planning, but it was such a great day and I'm so happy that we're engaged. Ah, I love this man!

These are pictures of the spot we sat down and Vinnie proposed...

This is my ring....very sparkly....

So, this is a picture that Michelle took. She, mom and Tami (I think) were standing there watching. Come to find out later that they were all waiting to see if we did get engaged. I'm not one for big group announcements, so when Lindsey came up to tell us that her hole was dug I figured I'd tell her and let her spill the beans. So I asked her if she wanted to hear a secret, she said, "eh" and ran away...

So, I ended up just hiding the ring waiting for an opportunity to just tell a few people at a time. A couple minutes after we showed up, we got sent to look for my dad and Stan (bro-in-law). We caught up to them, and we told them. Got back to the group and Michelle came over and asked how our walk was...."very nice" and showed her....Lindsey shows up, and says my ring looks like a crown...then dad brings mom over, hugs all around....

I was a little suspicious about Vinnie asking me before we went on the trip. His mom accidentally spilled the beans and said he was planning on asking me over the reunion, so he said he wasn't now, that he'd make a new plan, but I didn't all the way believe him. When we were stopped at Michelle's house on the way there I was gonna get something from his bag and he freaked out a little. Then on the day he proposed, I was reaching in his pocket while asking if he brought his camera and he freaked out a little then too...I was hoping it was coming, but I tried to be cool just in case it didn't happen, I didn't want to be disappointed. But, it did happen and I am very very happy and very much in love =)